Czech's big Win

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Category: Opinion

Published on Monday, 14 September 2009 22:02

Written by Keith Kirchner

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A set of ritual furnishings may arise; banners, flags, mass singing and so on...

The primitive rebels made a case for their inclusion into the western world via the celebration and profound ecstasy of vicarious world domination (the quest of the average Joe).

The underdog rarely knows how to celebrate his unexpected victory, to a degree this may go some way to explain why some of the most status quo minded individuals I know are Chicago Bulls fans.

Not too much destruction or turmoil, it was almost as if the people knew that they were smarter than the average cop and didn't have to show an adversarial stance. Much the same way you can depend on all the tram controllers disappearing around lunch time, or dinner time, or during pub time or during a celebration, or when it's ski weather, or in huge chunks of August.

A silent press conference said it all, we are in an alien landscape (see Denver's super celebration of the super bowl). We live just out of the crosshairs of the hype, is Dominik really 'The Dominator' at I.P. Pavlova? In its own way as inappropriate as the USA winning the World Cup later on this year, which would of course, be hysterical.

If that should happen the entire world will form a secret cabal to pollute that nations water supply. This would be a war finally worth fighting, the 20th century coupe de grace. A drunken young man with a white chocolate Fidorka tied around his neck, felt blessed that he was not obliged to deflower the Russian girls working on Vaclavske namesti.

If the Red, White and Blue had not been victorious, at least there was not the obligatory rise in the amount of domestic violence. "Some people just know how to handle their alcohol," a kindly middle age gentleman told me on the bus, just seconds before another bedraggled reveller hurled on the three occupied seats in front of us. Back on the streets, I thought about (of course) Bill Clinton's penchant for blow jobs.

Then the clouds parted, and one of those fleeting moments of clarity hit me like a Nerf bat. This whole BJ thing was just a set up to make Paula Jones look ridiculous! In fact the movie Wag the Dog was written to come out just now, to rub it all in our faces. From spin doctors to DJ's, we're all spinning like children who love dizziness, as much as they'll love their first joint, and as much as they loved to watch that spinning puck in slow motion as it crashed into the upper right hand corner of the net.

I guess what all this hemming and hawing is getting at, is... well, is this some kind of media conspiracy to teach the CZ about 'hype' so they can fully participate in the absurdity of the modern world.

Bonus Fortune Cookie: A formidable ambivalence divides your basic need for security and your longing for total freedom from stressful limitation.