The Original Think Magazine (Published since 1996)

Post-Conceptual Economics

money moohla

Every cash transaction you make that's right every single time you put your hand in your pocket or your purse or whatever it is you use and take out some of the filthy MONEY to buy your dope or your haircut or your cheese sandwiches or whatever it is you use well listen to this because it's the only chance you're likely to get to hear something true.

Which is well, OK, then you might think it's just a question of dope or haircuts or cheese sandwiches but in fact what you're doing is worshipping the system and screaming out at the top of your voice COME AND GET ME I'M YOURS and lying down in the middle of the road so the cars can drive over you.

Because all that dealing with coins and bits of paper and plastic credit cards and even just a safe little signature on the bottom of a list of numbers well it's not so safe as it seems that's what you should understand no no it's not safe at all because that's how the money monster works boys and girls that's how it does its thing it reaches its sharp sharp little fingers into your life like that and if you were really awake (you know what I mean), if you were truly and expertly alive with all your senses going zing zing and all your nerves tingling and all your ears open like a jungle creature or a bird in the sky or even just a simple little bug such as you might find creepy-crawling along under the carpet or up the wall or something like that well what I'm saying is that if you even had an ounce of common sense like that well then every time you handed over some of your oh-so-precious MONEY for one of those things which you want and want oh-so-very-badly which I won't list again because well I wouldn't be able to stomach it you see well OK then I mean I can't stop you doing it and I mean you're not alone are you as you've probably noticed but what I think you should try and grasp if you are not terminally indoctrinated and well sold is the most accurate way of putting it now isn't it well if you have not entirely and 100% sold your soul and your body and everything else you can conceivably sell already well then what should happen every single time you hand over even a single cent or crown or drachma is you should imagine a great big stinking voice screaming right in your face with its foul breath getting up your nose and catching in your throat and its humid stinking saliva settling on your skin in a nasty grey and slimy film and what's it shouting boys and girls well I'll tell you exactly what it's shouting so try and open your ears just for a few seconds because here it comes it's shouting F*CK OFF AND DIE YOU IDIOTS because that's the long and the short of it and that's the real and exact truth about what kind of plans the money monster has for you in the future and if you're expecting anything else from it well you can have my sympathy because it's free but that's about all you're going to get from this foul and heartless world as long as the money monster is around so you'd better get used to it.

And if you're wondering what the way out is well there is no way out and if you're looking for a better alternative then that's right you guessed it there is no better alternative but just try and change your attitude and just to keep in practice try giving some of it away that's it just give it to beggars so they can spend it on drink because it's the system that's put them there and that means you because you are the system and if a voice inside you says well why should I do that then all I can suggest you come up with as an answer is WHY NOT?

Think Magazine on Facebook