Tags: Christmas | consumerism | holidays

Well, it's December already and therefore time to get into the X-mas spirit...

I recommend watching more TV, obeying every advertisement (on purpose or not), and joining aimless throngs of thousands of people for no real good reason and spending all the money you don't have on stuff people won't use - except as second hand gifts for next year. Think fond thoughts of your family far away and enjoy your carp.

Gift ideas: gold, frankincense and myrrh.

What to do at this time of year besides place your bets - cynicism vs. idealism? Wasn't this somebody's birthday once? What was his name again? Consume? Consume... that's right, good boy. Isn't there a football game on? I particularly enjoy the commercials. Trained professionals who know me well, convincing me to spend more of my proverbial wealth.

Cynicism 1, Idealism 0. The fans go wild. Don't get me wrong, I love football.

Remember the story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed? Well, Jed's dead, baby, Jed's dead. Don't mourn - I'm sure he died peacefully of natural causes. The best thing to do is distract yourself somehow - occupy your cursory free time with some good ol' fashioned fantasy. Ambition. Creativity. More TV. Believe the Hype. OK, never mind, just shoot me.

Cynicism 2, Idealism 0.

What exactly is this idealism thing anyway? God forbid if we don't lie, or cheat, or steal, how could we stay on our toes without these qualities? (not yours, of course! ).

It's like social ballet, enjoy the show, but watch your purse. Be careful not to philosophize with strangers, they'll only predict the apocalyptic Fires of God or something like that. Well, I say, let it come and burn off these assholes so we can have our party in Peace. Stranger things have happened, you know?

Cynicism 2, Idealism 1. The game is young, have a Merry Christmas.