The Original Think Magazine (Published since 1996)
Umelec UK EditionUmelec UK Edition

Umelec Magazine was launched in the Czech Republic by publishing house Divus not long after the or [ ... ]

+ Read More
The Pleasure of My Company by Steve MartinThe Pleasure of My Company by Steve Martin

If you thought the Martian outdid himself with Shopgirl, prepare yourself for another tasty zinger.  [ ... ]

+ Read More
A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend: For Every Guy Who Wants to be One/For Every Girl Who Wants to Build On by Felicity HuffmanA Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend: For Every ...

Have You Found Your Helen of Troy? She may not be the cause of a 1000-ye [ ... ]

+ Read More
Black Passenger, Yellow Cabs by Stefhen Bryan

'Black Passenger Yellow Cabs: A Memoir of Exile and Excess in Japan,' is a controversial, erotic, et [ ... ]

+ Read More

A Poem about Uncle Sam

This poem was written by our friend Douglas Housh, convicted of marijuana dealing, and then set-up by the police for a second conviction. He is currently serving a long term... for a victimless crime.

muzzled manNow Sam is a big over pumped up muscled geek

Who preys on the innocent the poor and the weak

And he must be assuming that we've all lost our minds

But to keep getting bigger all he needs is two kinds

Well he needs one of you to believe all his lines

And he needs one of me to keep paying his fines

Now Sam is sucking up everything that's in sight

He's got a hell of a monstrous appetite

Yes he takes it all and we get the remains

And he's not going to rest until we're all in his chains

He will take away everything that we all hold so dear

And he can because he's got us all living in fear

He's a big over pumped up pain in the ass

And he wants every single last bit of your cash

And he wants all the freedoms that we once took for granted

And he's not going to rest until he has your corpse planted

Can't you all see what has happened, he's turned into a beast

And we're all being chopped up and served at his feast

But maybe if some of you open your eyes

And just a few more quit believing his lies

Maybe we can stop him before its too late

And keep our small children off his dinner plate

Now don't sit there on your ass in front of the TV

And think, Oh well it won't happen to me

Because he's big and he's ugly and he's coming for you

And we all better quick think of something to do

Yeah he's gotten just too damned big for his breeches

And his using our bones to scratch all of his itches

But maybe there's a chance to still cut his ass low

Before he delivers the last crushing blow.



Think Magazine on Facebook